This trip is what I would call the “final four”- four trips in four states in five weeks time. Whew! I made it and so far, knock on wood, I have not gotten sick. For the last hurrah, Austin, Texas awaited me, where I was graciously invited to a CF Family Education Day at the HUGE Dell Children’s Hospital. In preparation for true Texas BBQ, I was determined to not let last week’s bowel obstruction ruin my trip, so I downed three gallons of Golytely the day before leaving. Ugh… need I say more?
Due to a scheduling conflict, Isa was not able to attend, as she was headed to Omaha, Nebraska to speak at a conference for CF social workers and nutritionists. Rather than go alone, I invited my husband , Trent, along for a weekend in the “live music capitol of the world.” It was wonderful to spend time with Trent after so many weekends away and so many distractions at home. Alas, the trip was a test of the compatibilities of the tortoise and the hare, again.
Truthfully, my mind was not enthusiastic about leaving. This was because on the date of my departure, April 14, my dear friend, Lara Borowski, who had travelled the journey of CF and lung transplant with me, was put on a ventilator due to massive infection and rejection and was given only hours to live. I left work early shaking off tears, and rushed to the North ICU where Lara’s fan club congregated in tears, taking turns to mask, glove and gown, as we entered her room to say our goodbyes. I was in total shock and disbelief as I saw her unconscious body laying there sustained by machines and tubes, so delicate, so pale and so far from the vibrant woman I had known. She looked so darn tired. I stood at Lara’s bedside with my dear buddies from our transplant boot camp , Tiffany and Mari, and we cried until our masks were soaked. We told Lara how much she meant to us, and how much we loved her, and that we would never forget her- hoping that she could somehow hear us. This was a scene I had witnessed before with others but never with someone as close to me as Lara. Only 15 days earlier, Lara had been with us at our weekly Transplant boot camp, where we exercise together, and find support and comraderie with our limitations imposed by this transplant life. Lara is one of my best friends, and we have so much more in common than just CF and transplant. She is an avid outdoors-person, an exercise fiend, a world traveler, and is passionate about public health, living independently, dedicated to her health and like me, carries a stubborn strength of character and awesome sense of humor even in the worst of situations. Lara was transplanted in 2006; however, her course with transplant has been far from easy, and she has been wracked with one complication after another, with very few months where she was free from major issues. Yet through it all, she maintained such a great attitude, a zest to do as much as she could, a determination to exercise no matter what her lung capacity was, a passion to earn a Master’s degree in public health, and see the world. Through the 8+ years that I have known Lara, we have hiked, ran, swam, laughed, shared clothes, insulin and other meds, shopped, attended CF events together, gone to the transplant games together, won relays together, visited each other in the hospital, and cried with each other when our health has failed. Through all the losses of transplant acquaintances/friends last year, I admit I would mumble under my breath, “at least it’s not Lara.” And now it was. And there was nothing I could do about it but pray, support her family in whatever little way I could, and just trust God.
So I left the ICU at 4:30 pm in tears to catch a darn shuttle to the airport, where we learned that our flight was delayed four hours anyway. Damn! I could’ve spent more time with Lara. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I couldn’t bother looking at tourist attractions in Austin, or review the talk I was supposed to give on Saturday. I was just too devastated. We arrived in Austin at 3AM Central Time. and headed to La Quinta, for a wholesome 5 hours of sleep.
In the morning, I checked my email and found a glimmer of hope. Lara’s blood pressure, carbon dioxide and urine output improved; she was showing signs of life and this meant that she was not imminently dying. God was listening to our prayers and the prayers of so many! With her kidneys showing some sign of working, the option of a second transplant was opened up for her and she could be evaluated further for possibly being placed on the lung transplant waiting list. The outpouring of support on Facebook and via email has been amazing , and people all over the world who know Lara through the CF , transplant and Transplant Games community , among others, are praying hard. God is listening! Though still critically ill, the fact that a second lung transplant was again a part of the conversation brought hope and relief beyond words to us all.
To try be a good wife and spend time with my husband with minimal mental distraction, we went about our day to do some sightseeing, though Lara was never far from my mind. We started the day with a drive to the former first ladys’ botanical garden- Lady Bird Johnson’s Wildflower Center, where acres of wildflowers are preserved in a beautiful garden setting. It was a gorgeous spring day in Texas with a vast blue sky, endless horizon, cool breezes, and blooming trees and grasses. Occasionally we saw famous Texas bluebonnets in the fields, although they did not bloom as fully this year due to a lack of winter rain. We hiked for a while and admired the flora and fauna of the park. Unlike Little Rock or New Orleans, I noticed a wonderfully diverse group of Austin residents and school children at the park. How refreshing!
After our time in the sun, we headed to Driftwood, Texas for the famous Salt Lick BBQ joint. This was featured on the Food Channel as some of the best BBQ in the country, and I wasn’t going to miss it. Despite my precarious gut, I enjoyed a platter of pork ribs, roasted turkey breast, and beef brisket, Texas style. With that came Texas toast, beans , cole slaw and homemade German style potato salad. I topped it off with homemade pecan pie – my heaven. After five hours of sleep last night, I tried not to doze as we drove back to Austin with this immense mid-afternoon food coma. I think I had a few seconds of sleep at a red light.
We headed downtown, towards the famous music area of Sixth street where live music plays all evening. We walked up and down the street , peaking in bars for live music, but it seemed rather early so we headed toward Austin’s river way, called Lady Bird Lake, where we walked off our ribs and prepared for the next meal. Apparently, bats are prevalent in Texas and we stood below the bridge where hundreds of thousands of bats nest. Each evening, they fly out around sunset and swarms and swarms of bats can be seen flying in a row into the sky. It seemed like a scene from a movie!
Trent and I continued to walk up the famous Congress Street towards the Capitol Building , where we admired the majestic brownish limestone architecture with its high dome, and broad columns and arches. Inside, we grasped some of Texas’ history and the famous figures of the state by looking at the exhibits. We saw the rooms where the current state congress resides and admired the portraits of past governors and congress people. Outside was a huge monument to the Confederacy, reminding me that I was again in a Southern state.
As the evening drew to a close, we headed back to Sixth Street where we visited the Bat Bar for live music and drinks. An African American singer, Adam Rodgers, and a Caucasian cellist, Chris Rains, were performing, singing acoustic songs with a blues, country and soul twist. They were absolutely fabulous. At one point, he sang a song based on Maya Angelou’s poem, I Will Rise, and I got goose bumps because of his passionate and highly emotive singing style. In another song, he sang “ Please forgive me, sister, if I die…” and I fought back tears thinking about Lara, who was like a sister to me. Though selfishly I wanted her to live, I also didn’t want her to suffer and I prayed that she and God make the right decision for them as to whether or not she is meant to leave this world or not. I read through those lyrics wondering if someone was trying to tell me something spiritually through music. After another dinner of BBQ- pulled pork sandwich- bought from a street vendor , we headed back to LaQuinta. I quickly checked my facebook to find that the great Lara Borowski was still with us. Knowing her, I can’t imagine her giving up without a true fight. That a girl.
I awoke early to drive to Dell Children’s Hospital for their CF Family Education day. As always, these are wonderful experiences to meet other younger families dealing with the challenges of CF and to meet the dedicated healthcare team that cares for these families. Because CF adults and children were allowed to attend this event, I was able to connect with several CF adults who I had befriended on Facebook. I gave my talk alone without the second brain of Isa , and I think it went okay. The audience was engaged, there was tears and laughter , and some good feedback afterwards, although as usual, I spoke longer than expected , ran out of time for questions, and was the last speaker of the day, so families didn’t stick around too much afterwards. My regrets of what I should’ve said were at a minimum afterwards.
I did meet a wonderful CF mom who was half Japanese and her Japanese mother, and we connected immediately. After a quick change in the car, we headed to the Univ of Texas , Austin campus for Trent’s favorite food, pizza. We walked around the college part of town, and I admired the youth, progressive, liberal and diverse nature of this part of Texas- my first of several Texan experiences. It felt much more like home and I had a sense I was among many like-minded people. After our BBQ pizza lunch (can never get enough BBQ!) we headed to Mt. Covett Park (?), which is famous for Austin’s highest point of 750ish feet elevation. The park offers a romantic staircase, believed to help people fall in love, with a wonderful lookout point over Lake Austin and the Central Texas Hill country landscape. We hiked some, but it was hot and I carried my usual time urgency of “we have to see the next thing !” and we left after about an hour . Trent was amazingly accommodating to my travel style, as he likes to go to a few things and spend more time, where as I like to go to many things and breeze through each.
We drove south in our PT Cruiser Crysler rental car, on the famous Lamar Street, one of the most hippie like neighborhoods I have seen. There were organic and fare trade stores and even an REI. Was I really in Texas? Nearby , we visited the famous homemade Austin ice cream store, Amy’s Ice Cream, where I indulged in Mexican vanilla ice cream topped with pecans, coconut, pralines, and caramel sauce. Insulin, anyone??
Lamar street is famous for the flagship store of Wholefoods Market which began in Austin, in 1980. We visited the store, and admired his huge assortment of fresh goods, health foods, organic , fair trade, and earth friendly products. The store was bigger than any other Whole Foods I had ever been to (not that I go there that often- I call it “whole paycheck” not “Whole foods.” ) . Amazingly the prices were much more reasonable than our local Redwood City Whole Foods market.
Is it me, or do a lot of Austinians have tattoos? I saw them everywhere! Maybe it was because there were so many young people or it was the music/hippie culture of the city that attracted the body art types.
Next, we headed to Austin’s famous Zilner park, where we wanted to see the famous Barton Springs- a natural pool of 68 degree spring water that has been made into a public swimming hole. We walked along the river, as the sun was starting to set; unfortunately our plan to rent a kayak to venture upriver to the bat bridge failed as kayak rentals closed early. So in Ana style, I marched Trent back to the car to rush to drive through thick traffic back to the Congress Street bridge where the bats were planning to fly around sunset. We hovered over the bridge just in time and were able to see the swarms of what seemed like a million bats coming out from under the bridge, like locusts or birds being thrust out in wind speed from a turbulent fan. Through the dim light of the fading day, we looked up to a golden full moon and could see the streak of darkness- the bats- forming a ribbon across the sky. It was truly God’s creatures, great and small…
After maneuvering through traffic we headed back towards Zilner Park where we hoped to find a dinner joint with live music. We landed at a restaurant called Threadgills, which served Southern cuisine. With country music heard outside, and great non-smoking dining inside, I devoured 5 fried green tomatoes, fried okra, black eyed peas, cornbread, and yes, I admit, a half rack of baby back ribs. I took every enzyme in my pillbox for this one. Forgive me gut, but I have sinned.
After a very late night and a 15 hour long day, we headed back to the La Quinta. I checked Facebook again to learn that Lara’s kidney’s were touch- and-go and we all needed to pray for her to pee so she could get listed for a second transplant. Please, Lara, please pee!! The things we take for granted…
The next morning, I was determined to go kayaking on the Barton Springs while Trent preferred to visit the Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library first. We slept through the free breakfast, so a quick stop at Jamba juice and the soft pretzel I bought at Wholefoods became my brunch. After visiting Bill Clinton’s Presidential Library in Little Rock two weeks ago (Isa is supposed to write that blog post), I was even more curious to visit the LBJ Library to learn about a president whom I was too young to really witness. The library was a gorgeous huge 10 story white limestone building on the Univ of Texas campus. It housed 6 stories of political documents, and four stories of exhibits capturing Johnson’s early years, political career, relationships, and groundbreaking legislation In 2 ½ hours, I learned about a great man who died when I was only 1 year old. Did you know that he started out as a teacher? Lyndon B. Johnson was a true Democrat who was dedicated to helping the poor, creating a more equal society and trying to establish a Great Society while the turbulence of the 60’s was thrust upon him with racial tensions, Vietnam, assassinations, women’s rights, student protest, the hippie movement, the sexual revolution, the Cold War and the Space Race. Talk about stress! Now does Obama have it this bad? Who the hell would ever want to take on that job? No wonder Johnson had a heart attack at age 47. The great man was in politics for 30 years, and survived on 4 hours of sleep per night. I guess true ambition requires little sleep. I learned that it was Johnson who started great public programs like Medicaid, Head Start and many more (that we take for granted today) to help education, poverty , equal rights. It was Johnson who signed the Civil Rights Act and worked to improve equal education and opportunity for all, and it was Johnson who made the decision to pull the military from Vietnam , right before stepping down from re-election. The 60’s were a crazy era. Has much changed? Instead of Vietnam, we have Iraq. Instead of the communist paranoia, we have terrorist paranoia. I could go on and on but I don’t want to offend anyone. My visit to the LBJ Library was truly inspiring and really reminded me how one man can make an impact.
After this visit, we headed back to Zilner park for another attempt at kayaking. Though I wanted so badly to go to the Texas State History Museum, I had to swallow that urge and realize we couldn’t do everything especially when travelling with someone who has such a different pace than me. My impatience was tested on more than one occasion, but I am learning to just chill out.
Zilner Park was bustling with Austin residents enjoying the 85 degree sunny day and there were many bikers, joggers, picnickers, and boaters in the park. We rented a two person kayak and headed upriver towards Lady Bird Lake. My strength and steering were horrible and I found Trent doing most of the work. Then as we made it under one of the Austin Bridges, I realized that our boat was backwards, and after some tricky maneuvering, we turned around and faced the front. Lo and behold, it was easier to steer and paddle! Go figure!
The water was cool, the sun was strong and warm, and I felt truly content. What a peaceful moment. I felt guilty for enjoying my day while Lara lay fighting for her life in ICU. What would she have wanted? I was out there on the water for her, enjoying the beauty of nature that she would love too, and thinking, praying, hoping for her.
The sun was becoming low, and there were glimmers of light reflecting on the water. I could see dragonflies hovering over the water, and beneath it, turtles chewed on the plant life. The river was filled with other rental boats, all regular people just trying to enjoy a beautiful spring afternoon before the Texas summer heat kicks in. Children, families, dogs, teenager, young couples- people of all ethnic groups and ages were together, just having a good time. It was so beautiful to watch and I wanted the moment to last forever.
But alas, our flight back home was approaching, and we headed back to the car with our wet pants to drive to the airport. By the third day, I had my sense of direction in check and I could easily navigate to the airport with barely looking at a map. I love it when cities are so logically designed…
There is a song that talks about Texas in the springtime and I am grateful that I could witness that. The weather was gorgeous-, the people so friendly and like-minded, and the food scrumptious. This trip was made special by Trent’s presence, for It was the first time he had attended a CF family Education Day , and he even said he was “proud” of me after my speech, which meant a lot.
I look forward to going home, though, so I can finally unpack my bags after four trips. I will go visit Lara at my earliest opportunity, and I continue to pray hard for her whether or not I am in the Golden State or the Lone Star State.
I send many thanks to those of you who have joined me in prayer.
Allow me to leave you with a very cool YouTube video produced by Jon Sanford of the Stanford Medical Magazine, which features our weekly Transplant Boot Camp. For those of you who are local, feel free to join!

Thank you for your interest in this very long blog post. May you be blessed by the coming of Spring and have a wonderful Easter!
ANA STENZEL

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