“Happy holidays, season’s greetings, Merry Christmas to all! May peace, joy and love be with you this time of year.”
As I’m reading my holiday cards, I see these messages all around. But what do these really mean? How can we internalize these well wishes without just reading them as mindless cliché? What is the real reason for these greetings? Am I over-thinking this? Maybe the holidays, besides being a time to up the anty in spending and frenzying, is actually a time to pay attention and question: what is it all about? Peace? I have to question this – we are in a fucking war, right? The malls are sure as hell not peaceful. Joy? Well fortunately, many of us are blessed with that. Love? Well to me, that is really what it is about. The holidays are about finding joy in God’s gift of His son and joy in being with friends and family, and being able to share our gifts with them, material or otherwise.
Perhaps the holidays are just a distraction in the midst of a dark and cold winter, and a time to look inward and reflect on God. After all, isn’t that the reason for the season? Sadly, I think most Americans do not do this except maybe on Dec 25 when the stores are finally closed. Every year I tell myself I am not going to fall for the commercial madness and capitalistic pressures. There seem to be messages from society/the media telling us that we need to spend more, buy the latest fad in order to impress our loved ones for the holidays, and that somehow by wracking up that credit card bill we are better people, more loving friends, and of course stimulating our shitty economy.
Call me cynical, bitter or even bah humbug, but sorry, I can’t help it. To me, the holidays are the storm before the calm we earn to get a few days off and be with loved ones to eat and open gifts we really don’t need.
To me, shit still happens during the holidays so they aren’t necessarily “merry” for everyone. My best friend , Karen, whom we wrote about in our memoir, died of cystic fibrosis on Dec 17, 1990- this year marked the milestone that Isa and I have outlived her for 20 years. Unbelievable! This year, three of my friends died between Thanksgiving and Dec 3 of lung transplant related complications. Three of my friends’ families will be emotionally distraught this Christmas. What the fuck is that about? Personally it makes me feel pretty damn vulnerable so I wrote a poem to express my sense of being inevitably fucked in the long run. See below.
So what does all this Holiday cheer mean when people are still in fact dealing with reality? “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays,” to me, really means, “I care about you, I want you to be happy, to have some INNER peace and to be well” in the midst of realities that don’t necessarily go away this time of year.
That is what I wish for you all as you read my cynical stream of consciousness blog post. Enjoy your days off, be well, and embrace the togetherness that you have with your loved ones while you have them. I personally celebrate the my friend Anna M . is home for her first Christmas without CF lungs after her lung transplant on 11/22/10. May the journey she is just about to embark on start with small miracles that continue to grow.
It is truly an honor to be on this Earth with you all. I want to thank each of you for reading our blog posts throughout the year and for your wonderful support of the Power of Two website and film! We love you all.
As my holiday letter states (which I have yet to send to many), …” May you have a minimally stressful, relationship enhancing, economically feasible and virus free holiday season.” God bless you All!
ANA
Here is my POEM:
Our lives with new lungs are like candles,
We are born out of darkness and ignited with oxygen,
Our life is renewed,
We surge ahead as light guides us into new territory.
Energy , brightness and adventure abound,
We dance in the light , growing with each breath,
Coming together, we burn brighter,
Until air becomes scare again and our flame diminishes,
In time we fall into darkness again, remembering the light
And our breath fades into invisible spirit.
The span of each candle’s light is a mystery,
But no matter how long that light burns,
We are grateful for the gift of dancing in the light.
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